An awful confession; Every time I hear about real life rape I get wet. I hate the idea of rape PLAY. The thought of being helpless and being taken advantage of is too much ?

Well, as a woman who is also into rape I’m kind of glad you messaged me. I’ve struggled with this for my entire life. The only thing is that real life rape can be actually a lot scarier than we can imagine. For me, I’m good as long as there are no death threats. I have found that doing rape role play can be very unsatisfying, but it can also be awesome with the right group of people (I like gang rape). I spent a good deal of time playing “rape bait” when I was younger where I would “pass out” and see who would rape me. I put myself in situations where I would be raped, and I was raped many times. Most of my attacks actually turned me on, but looking back I was so careless and put myself in the kind of danger no one should. I could have been killed countless times. It’s scary, looking back. 

I had one very brutal attack that changed everything for me, but not in a good way. I had to go to therapy afterward, but not because I was upset about being raped. I was actually in therapy for about two years because of how hard I came when I was being raped and having my life threatened. It took me a long time to come to terms with what I am. I am not like most women. I am fucked up pretty bad. I accept myself as I am and seek to understand myself further. It turns out I’m bipolar and need medication. Now I take it and I can clearly see how crazy it was for me to play “rape bait.”

After that last attack and the therapy I have chosen to be safer. These days I would only engage in rape role play and I don’t put myself in actual danger. I’ve come to terms with my perversions and I’ve moved past seeking out being raped, which is a good thing. These days I’m more into other perversions, but I sink most of my rape fantasy energy into this blog. This blog is helpful in that way. 

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